How coming off birth control affected my life and business

I was 16 when I started birth control, prescribed by my dermatologist to treat stubborn hormonal acne that wrecked my pubescent self-esteem.

I did it secretly because if anyone at my Catholic school were to find out, there would definitely be rumours circulating about my non-existent sexual promiscuit.

That was nearly 10 years ago and since that time, I had never had any issues with my daily Estelle-35.

Apart from being a thankful solution to my acne. It was also a mood stabiliser for my common dramatic spikes of anxiety and an escape from monthly period pains.

Mostly, it was nice to no longer torment myself over my skin, which was now low-maintenance, smooth and not an oily mess.

The growing opaqueness between me and the world

About a year ago, when my frontal lobe was beginning to set itself, I was beginning to notice a growing glass wall between my consciousness and my emotions. 

I would find joy in securing a new client, picking up my new puppy from the breeder, or dancing the days away at a bush doof, but I could never fully feel it in my body.

It’s a strange experience to cognitively but not physically experience your emotions. There were no tingles of excitement in my stomach, or that sense of glowing expansion in my chest. 

There was simply….static.

The start of the emotional rollercoaster

When I finished my final box of Estelle-35, I decided not to return to the GP to renew my prescription - the first time in nearly 10 years.

Like everything else in my business, I wanted to run an experiment.

Would coming off birth control return my emotions into my body? Would creativity explode because of it?

To track this journey, I downloaded Ovum - an AI health assistant for woman I had been following since I had discovered it through my involvement in the women’s business community, One Roof.

Over the last 7 months, I’ve used Ovum to track the physical, mental and emotional experiences of my body learning to stabilise its hormones for the first time as an adult.

The first 1-3 months

"Part of the reason I decided to go off birth control was so I can access the full range of my emotions” - Entry into Ovum AI, 14 July 2025

The first 3 months were surprisingly uneventful. I naively thought that I had made it out on the other side relatively unscathed.

After a month, my first breakthrough bleed was standard - 3 days of moderate bleeding, mild cramping, but overall, it was manageable. 

After that, I preempted that my first ‘real’ period wouldn’t arrive until at least 2 months later. I had heard anecdotally that it would take a while and that once it happened, regular periods could take 6-12 months to properly return. 

To my surprise, almost one month later to the dot, my period returned. It was less pleasant this time. Five days of heavy bleeding, cramping that had me popping paracetamol every four hours, and a voracious appetite for chicken tenders. But again, it was manageable. I could still work, sleep was fine, and my mood was lower than usual, but nothing that I couldn’t regulate with my fully formed frontal lobe.

The next period was the same - on time and fairly normal. 

Throughout this time, my skin maintained its effortlessly predictability. Sure, it was oilier than when I was on birth control, but the hormonal cysts I experienced as a teenager hadn’t returned apart from 1-2 new pimples during my period.

In fact, I experienced very few difficulties in these first 3 months. My mood had markedly improved during the weeks around my period, with moments where I was filled with gratitude and contentment.

“WOW, life is really good right now!” I would think to myself. 

I brought that joy to my sales calls and marketing activities. Every win in business sent a glow through my body. As these first few months progressed, I could feel my emotions find themselves again in my limbs. 

And, it was fun! Creative inspiration struck more often and when they did, I could follow that golden thread for hours. I was becoming more deeply me, and my brand was reflecting that. I had found my flow in life and business.

The next 4-6 months

“Was quite depressed today, but felt better after playing basketball and eating dinner” - Entry into Ovum AI, 13 September 2025

The end of the third month brought a hurricane of systems.

First, my skin started to explode. Think of all the types of pimples a person can get, and I was getting all of them - deep, painful cysts on my chin and jaw, angry red bumps on my forehead and blackheads littering everywhere in between. A trip to the doctor and a bottle of prescription retinoid would see the next two months of purging, the kind that has you incessantly asking your boyfriend whether he still finds you attractive.

Second, the low moods really kicked in. Two days before my period started, I felt the urge to scream at everything. The days of my period saw me crashing out over being a failure, everything feeling wrong and an impending sense of doom. It was a struggle to enter creative flow during these weeks. Work was an uphill battle. Writing felt like squeezing hardened toothpaste out of the tube and it felt like I had no original ideas for creating content, 

However, with the lower lows came the higher highs. During these moments, I produced my best creative works. I found my words and tone of voice easier. I could visualise the designs I wanted to create clearly in my mind. My instincts sharpened, and my productivity was at an all time high. 

And, now?

“Was feeling depressed and irritable yesterday, the day before that and the day before that” - Entry into Ovum AI, 3 January 2026

It has been challenging to run a business that is ultimately subject to my creativity, mood, energy levels and cognition, when all of that is almost exactly correlated with where I am in my hormonal cycle.

I’m at my peak during ovulation. I’m at my lowest during menstruation.

I’m not at the stage where my business can just pause during that dreadful week. I still need to (and want to) show up for clients, keep up with my own content and find a way to keep the lights on because if I don’t work, I’m not being paid.

I’m in the process of designing my weeks to account for these - thankfully - predictable states. 

I’m not going to lie, I’ve considered going back on birth control. My skin will go back to being perfect, and I’ll have consistent energy for business and life.

However, a part of me doesn’t want to. I like feeling everything, especially the magical moments of contentment I’ve only ever truly felt off birth control. Sure, the low moods are brutal, but I feel reassured that they will end at a predictable time.

Whatever I end up choosing, I know that it will be a decision made from a mature frontal lobe, after experiencing both sides of the fence.